Session I: Floyd's Puppet Theatre Musical Interpretation

The Order of the Abbey, Part One: Humble Beginnings and Grim Portentions
A Puppet Show
Act I

The curtain opens to reveal a monastery. FLOYD enters.

FLOYD: Hi there, folks, Floyd Fiftynames, licensed Bard here, just strummin’ and singing. You folks have been a big fan of my music, but I frequently get asked, “Floyd, what’s the story behind some of these songs? One thing I wish is that I knew more of the story of you and your friends.” Well, I’m here to grant that wish, though the magic of musical puppet theatre! So sit back, relax, and enjoy The Order of the Abbey, Part One: Humble Beginnings and Grim Portentions.

It all starts in northern Arimathea, at the Morningstar Abbey, where myself, my brother Guy, a dwarf named Brixmore, and a human named Virgil grew up. Orphans, the lot of us, we were all apprentices to monks at the Abbey, living a simple life… a good life.

Sings
In days long ago at the Morningstar Abbey,
We worked on the land and made mulberry wine,
Had ne’ry a worry and no cause to hurry,
The work could be hard but the living was fine.

SAMARED enters. Spoken:

That there’s Brother Samared. Big fella, ain’t he? My brother Guy was apprenticed to him. For years, we thought of him as a gentle giant… just a man who worked his forge. Say, here comes Guy, carrying a cord of wood.

GUY enters.

GUY: Brother Samared?
SAMARED: Yes, young master Guy?
GUY: Do we really have to be in my brother’s stupid puppet musical?
SAMARED: Well, we’re puppets, so I don’t s’pose we have much choice. We’re bound by our strings. It’s sort of like this mysterious choker I wear around my neck.
GUY: Well, I don’t like it. It makes me feel all rage-y inside.
SAMARED: Trust me, master Guy. I know the feeling.

Sings

It’s no way to act when you’re muscled and brawny,
Singing and dancing while held up by string –
But it must be so for to service the story,
So release the dignity to which you cling.

Spoken:

GUY: All right.
SAMARED: Attaboy. Now, let’s go over to the forge and throw some rocks around.
GUY: Oh, boy!

GUY and SAMARED exit. VIRGIL and ELLIOTT enter.

FLOYD: Why, there’s Virgil, our human friend, with his mentor, Brother Elliott, the Abbey librarian.

Singing:

VIRGIL: I’d like to study some more about magic –
ELLIOTT: But you are not ready, so I must protest.
VIRGIL: If I am denied the results could be tragic –
ELLIOTT: You’ll learn soon enough, boy, now give it a rest.

Spoken:

ELLIOT: Virgil, I understand your urgency, and I do see enormous potential in you… quite a lot, in fact. Tell you what – come see me after hours tonight, and we can explore your magical prowess.
VIRGIL: Thanks!

ELLIOTT and VIRGIL exit.

FLOYD: Elliott’s always been the bookish type, shy, quiet, and reserved. Or so we thought. Funny story about him… oop! Wait, here comes Dr. Ethan, and his charge, young Brixmore the dwarf. Ethan’s one of the few who live in the monastery who isn’t a member of the order – aside from us kids. He’s a good friend of Abbott Teris, the head honcho of the Morningstar Abbey. Say, there he is, too! Coming to meet Ethan, it looks like.

ETHAN and BRIX enter from one side, TERIS from another.

TERIS: Dr. Ethan, I’m going to send the children into town with Abel the ranger to help him with an investigation.
FLOYD: They’re talking about Verl’s Crook, the closest town to the Abbey. As the quartermaster’s apprentice, I go all the time with Brother Art.
ETHAN: The children? But Abbott Teris, my work –
TERIS: This trip won’t interfere with your work, doctor. I’m sure of it.
ETHAN: As you wish, sir.

TERIS exits.

BRIX: Dr. Ethan, is this work of yours something I can help you with?
ETHAN: As a matter of fact, yes, Brixmore, you can.

Singing:

I need you take this vial into the town now,
And bring it to Viggio, a friend of mine.
Is this a task I can entrust to you, son?
BRIX: Give me the vial and all will be fine.

BRIX and ETHAN exit.
Spoken:

FLOYD: Everyone still with me? Good, ‘cause we’re still in the introductions. Here comes Brother Art. He’s my mentor, and the quartermaster of the Abbey. Art’s taught me some Dwarven Trade language, and instructed me on the art of communication and making a deal.

ART enters.

ART: Floyd?
FLOYD: Yes, Brother Art?
ART: Have you seen Eric or Zarin around anywhere?
FLOYD: Eric or Zarin? You mean the other young lads who are about our age and are also wards of the Morningstar Abbey? *wink*
ART: Yes, that’s right. Zarin’s been gone all morning, and Brother Terry, the distiller –
FLOYD: Because we make wine here, you see –
ART: … yes, Brother Terry needs Eric to help him load the cart when Abel the Ranger arrives.
FLOYD: No, haven’t seen them.
ART: Good day, then.

ART exits.

FLOYD: Okay, real quick – Eric is apprenticed to Brother Terry, and Zarin… well, Zarin’s kind of a loner. But he’s kind of like a brother to us, as we all grew up here, and never knew our actual families. In fact, even though Guy and I are the only ones who are actually related, it’s like all of us kids here share a very special common bond… even though we don’t know what that is just yet. Perhaps it’s just the idyllic life of growing up here at the Abbey.

Sings:

In days long ago at the Morningstar Abbey,
We worked on the land and made mulberry wine,
Had ne’ry a worry and no cause to hurry,
The work could be hard but the living was fine.

Musical Button.
VIRGIL enters.

VIRGIL: Hey, Floyd.
FLOYD: Virgil. What’s the latest news?
VIRGIL: Same old, same old.
FLOYD: Same here. I think I’m going to go check on supper.
VIRGIL: Don’t let me stop you.
FLOYD: See you later.

FLOYD exits; ZARIN enters.

ZARIN: Virgil?
VIRGIL: Zarin. What happened to you? You don’t look so good.
ZARIN: I found this cave out beyond the Abbey borders. I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I found these swords.

ZARIN brandishes two shiny swords.

VIRGIL: Those sure are some fancy swords, cowboy. Let me see them for a second.
ZARIN: No!

In a rage, ZARIN pummels VIRGIL.

VIRGIL: Ow! Ow!

VIRGIL falls unconscious. ZARIN looks around, and exits quickly. GUY and BRIXMORE enter.

GUY: Nothing like throwing rocks around to work up an unnecessary sweat. Hey, what’s that?
BRIX: It looks like Virgil!

BRIXMORE runs to VIRGIL and turns him over.

Virgil, Virgil – are you okay?
VIRGIL: Unghhh…
GUY: What happened to you?
VIRGIL: What does it look like happened? I got my ass stomped!
BRIX: Who did this?
VIRGIL: Zarin.
BRIX: Zarin? Zarin who lives with us?
VIRGIL: That’s right.
GUY: Lie still. You need healing. Brix, is that a potion you’ve got there?
BRIX: No, it’s a vial Dr. Ethan gave to me. I’m not sure what it is.

He opens the vial and looks inside.

GUY: I think that’s blood.
VIRGIL: Blood?
VIRGIL puts a drop on his finger and tastes it.
It sure is. And it’s ice-cold.

FLOYD re-enters. To the audience:

FLOYD: Now, this is where the plot begins to thicken, or coagulate, if you will.
GUY: I’m going to tell Abbott Teris.
BRIX: No! I don’t think Dr. Ethan would want me to do that.
GUY: Good for Dr. Ethan. I’m going.
BRIX: Nuh-uh!
GUY: Yuh-huh!

Scuffle. A trumpet sounds, and ABEL enters with his wagon.

ABEL: Yah, horse!
FLOYD: It’s Abel the Ranger!

Singing:

ABEL: Come on, boys, it’s time to go
Hop in the wagon now, all aboard!
You get to go to town today,
And help me to investigate,
Hopefully to mediate,
And certainly not to consternate
The friendly townfolk in Verl’s Crook!

The BOYS cheer and hop into the wagon.
Spoken:

BRIX: What’s Verl’s Crook like, Abel?

Singing:

ABEL: Verl’s Crook is a little town,
Not much excitement there, one might think –
But a mystery is on the rise,
Holds up a large, orange feather
That’s all about this feather
And impending stormy weather
Which is why I’m wearing leather
Armor when I’m in the little town of Verl’s Crook!

Spoken:

VIRGIL: Do we get leather armor, too?
ABEL: Ha, ha, ha! What funny young, defenseless kids you are! I am sure am glad Abbott Teris said you could come along.
GUY: And why are we going with you again?
ABEL: Why, to entertain me, of course!

Singing:

Hurry now, it’s getting late,
And we’ve got miles and miles to go.
BRIX: Gonna take this vial to Viggio,
GUY: And we’re gonna solve a mystery
VIRGIL: and then we’ll make some history
FLOYD: I hope I don’t get blistery
ALL: on the wagon ride to Verl’s Crook!

Button. The Monastery flies out, revealing a small town: Two houses, a sheriff’s office, an inn, and a tavern.

ABEL: Yah, horse! Well, we’re here! Here’s the inn we’ll be staying at, The Gilded Lily!
FLOYD: Wow! What a piece of crap!
BRIX: Abel, do you know where a man named Viggio lives?
ABEL: Sure do! He lives in that house, over stage left! Well, I’m off! See you soon.
GUY: But I thought we were going to help you with your investigation.
ABEL: Yeah, about that… bye!

ABEL exits.

BRIX: C’mon, gang, let’s go to Viggio’s house.

They cross to Viggio’s. BRIX knocks on the door. VIGGIO, a corpulent man stained with pasta sauce, answers the door.

VIGGIO: What do you want?
BRIX: Hi, I’m Brix, and Dr. Ethan asked me to bring you this vial.
BRIXMORE hands VIGGIO the vial.
VIGGIO: You little punks didn’t open this, did you?
FLOYD: No.
BRIX: No.
GUY: No.
VIRGIL: Well… I might have tasted the blood inside.
VIGGIO: Well, come on in so I can stick you with a big needle full of bile.
VIRGIL: Peachy!

The BOYS and VIGGIO exit into the house. A WOMAN enters, walking down the street. Suddenly, a masked MAN runs up and garottes her. The WOMAN falls down dead. The MAN exits quickly. The BOYS re-enter.

ALL: Bye, Viggio!
VIGGIO (offstage) Get bent!
FLOYD: I wish he was my dad.
GUY: Hold on, what’s this?

GUY approaches the body of the WOMAN.

VIRGIL: Looks like a corpse to me.
GUY: We need to investigate.
DRULEY: (offstage) Hold it right there!

SHERIFF DRULEY enters. He is an idiot.

I’m Sheriff Druley. I’m the sheriff.
GUY: This woman appears to have been murdered.
DRULEY: Um…
GUY: Right. Get out of my way, would you?
DRULEY: I’m not really sure what to do here.
GUY: But you’re the sheriff.
DRULEY: Yeah.
GUY: And I’m a book-fuck commoner.
DRULEY: Hmmm.
GUY: Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be the start of something beautiful?
DRULEY: Hey! How would you boys like to be my deputies?
VIRGIL: Hooray.
DRULEY: I’ll be up in the sheriff’s office, drinking.

DRULEY exits.

GUY: What do we got, Brixmore?
BRIXMORE examines the body.
BRIX: There’s blood on her earring, which is odd, because she appears to be strangled, and there is no sign of a cut or puncture wound on her body.

A TOWNSPERSON enters.

GUY: You there – townsperson! What do you know about this woman?
TOWNSPERSON: Well, she worked for Tolgas, who lives in that there house, and she lived in a room above the tavern.
GUY: Okay, get out of here.

The TOWNSPERSON exits.

FLOYD: Why are we doing this again?
GUY: Because! Blah, blah, blah, high ideals, blah blah, blah, misplaced sense of responsibility! Blah, blah blah –

FLOYD sighs.
Singing:

FLOYD: There he goes again,
My brother and his higher purpose,
Can’t seem to understand that
Life’s a thing to be enjoyed;
Turning our little four man band
Into a freaking three-ring circus
He wants to save the world, acquire power,
Then there’s Floyd…

FLOYD produces a top hat and cane.

Some folks want to reach the big time,
And some folks just wanna sing
Some folks could care less if they rhyme,
But I say let that meter ring
Through every heart in every village
From here to Luthia and back
I’ll dance my way to Compassgate
If you tell me that I’ve got the knack
So let me entertain you!
Brix is hung on the Proclaimer,
He thinks he hung the moon,
Virgil wants that arcane power,
And boy, does he want it soon,
Then there’s my brother, like no other,
A sixteen year-old with world views,
But given the chance, I’d rather dance
And I can’t wait to spread the news
So let me entertain you,
I’ll be the best you’ve ever seen
I’ll win your heart, just to start,
But I’ll bring it back and have it cleaned
I’ll climb that mountain to my success,
And I won’t quit ‘til I reach the top,
But it seems there’ s hero work to be done,
So for now I’ll have… to… stop.

Button. Curtain closes.
END OF ACT I